the cosmic cauldron
i was steeped
a little too long
in the irrational
every day
at least that i can remember
i have sensed the song of the other side
it always seemed so obvious to me
and yet when i would attempt to find the words
i would feel people’s attention
and respect
continue to drift
further away
in the witch’s screams
i remember
the reverence that once adorned this intuition
in the fires i understand
the power of this knowing
the wiring of my brain
has always made
the interconnected, wise, and mystical blueprint that all life stemmed from
seem so obvious
the magic that the universe so generously gifted me
is but a seed of the ancestors who were buried by brute force
masked in the name of science
linear and rigid systems soon prevailed
of which i was born into
i can remember wondering as a child, why do we need all these articles to prove that taking care of the environment is necessary? why do we need all these scientists researching monk’s siddhis? why is it so hard to believe? why do we turn to pills for all our answers? is it really that hard to trust that walking through the forest is therapeutic? is it really that hard to believe that all people should have access to water? that we deserve a living wage? that corporations shouldn’t be given free rein over our natural resources? do we really need to spend years creating these arguments? i never understood how we got to this place... and how it seemed like it was going to take so much effort to return to a state of right livelihood with mother earth and our intrinsically good-natured spirits.
i couldn’t help but wonder if all of these publications and facts and numbers and statistics and debates were a distraction.
i never wanted to believe that these lengths were necessary for us to live up to our fullest potential.
i have always felt confused.
it’s been easy to write off as irrational and naive.
after a couple of decades of navigating this dystopic experience that seems to be a result of the drastically different worlds found on either side of my flesh suit, i often find myself wanting to tap out.
sign off of living in this cyclical, connected way of being
and tap into the linear illusion
at least in this post-apocalyptic capitalist landscape we find ourselves in
it would be much easier
to fade into the story
to believe that my purpose is to
#makethatmoney
#getupandgrind
#livetopayrent
i think it’s the one’s who can see
who are most susceptible to depression, addiction, and suicide
it becomes the most practical way out of this chaotic, mind-numbing bewilderment
it brings us to our knees
desperation becomes the air we breathe
and i often wonder how the revolutionaries turned this paralyzation
into an unapologetic
crusade for liberation
they seem so close
the conviction
and defeat
dear universe,
please take mercy on me